understanding

This is my journal as a first-year teacher. I have no formal training in education, nor do I have any real experience teaching or working with kids. For the past 5 years, since graduating from college, I have worked as a computer programmer. (My undergrad degree was in CS.) I’ve struggled with the question of what to really do with my life, wanting to go back to school but not knowing what to study. I was also overwhelmed by thinking about the vast problems facing our world and our society: justice, the environment, poverty, and so forth. Looking at these problems from a systemic perspective makes it clear that they are deeply interrelated, and that in turn makes it hard to have hope of solving them. How can I tackle them all? I was also particularly fixated on the environmental aspect of these problems, seeing that as the major thing that had to be solved first.

Reading Lakoff helped me understand better that lots of people are working at the problems from all sides. If progressives can understand our common ground, instead of seeing our own first concern as taking priority, there is hope. We can move strategically, and easing one problem can also help ease others. Reading Deida helped me see that finding my own way to contribute would also help me put the other aspects of my life in order, and find my own peace. And reading Tracy Kidder’s book about Paul Farmer showed me that it is possible to be aware of a problem at its biggest, most systemic level and still go in and care about individual people and tiny situations — in fact, that this might be one of the best ways to learn how to solve systemic problems.

The progression of thoughts and ideas I’ve just described lead me to remember that teaching has always called to me. I plotted my escape from the very comfortable lifestyle I had created, and began applying for jobs at private schools. The mainstream public school system is not interesting to me, because I feel like I would be too trapped within bureaucracy. The teachers that I liked best in high school always seemed to have problems with the administration, and the district was always handing down decrees that seemed counter to the goals of learning. I wanted to be in an environment with other teachers who were reflective about education as a process, and at a school that was progressive in its values and style, and itself a learning entity. Also, I didn’t want to go through a master’s and credential program before actually getting into the classroom. Thinking about my undergraduate education, I know that any experiences that I have in a subject before touching formal education will allow me to be a better student, ask deeper questions, and get more out of it.

As you might imagine, most private schools aren’t trying to hire teachers with no experience. They have plenty of qualified applicants for their jobs, and need to fill their faculty with impressive educators to attract the students they want. But there is another place to find people who are interested in trying new things, and that is in the California public charter schools. That is where I ended up finding a job. I feel good about working with a student population that really needs me, as opposed to one that already has everything they need. And I also think that if I can be successful in teaching here, I can be successful anywhere. As I’ve gone through the process of getting ready to start this year, I’ve had many many ideas and thoughts. I’m not sure if they will be useful to anyone else, but perhaps just hearing about my experiences will be interesting.